I didn’t come from a house of overeaters or dieters so I didn’t know what a diet was until I heard my friends talk about restricting when in college. I remember joining a slimming club then with a friend in college, I lost some weight and then started some binges and I remember after not having had sweet food for a while how my body reacted with a buzz when I ate it. During my 20s and 30s I went up and down in weight through restricting or overeating and I was never really happy with my body. The weight and binges were increasing.

Over the last few years things progressed, I put on another stone or two. I stopped being able to diet for any length of time even coming up to weddings and I was disgusted at myself. Months before I joined Overeaters Anonymous (OA), I remember a moment when I felt totally defeated and that nothing was working. I did subconsciously know there was something else out there. I think at that point I felt I had no control and there was some surrender then. I did feel at the time that I had a spiritual connection as I remember speaking to my Higher Power and asking for help, but later when I was in OA I realised my connection to my Higher Power was blocked and I think this was due to the effects of all the food in my body, how I obsessed about it all in my mind and the fears and resentments I had.

A couple of weeks later I felt totally defeated. I went on a residential weekend from work on a course. It was full of healthy food so I packed my bags with crisps and chocolate just in case. We ate large amounts of healthy nutritious food that didn’t satisfy me so I went back to my room to eat my snacks, which didn’t even satisfy me. One day I went for a walk with a girl who told me she was addicted to sugar and was in a 12-step programme for compulsive overeating. My own ego and know it all attitude tried to tell her I was working my own way on my eating. Mine clearly was not working though and hers was. Two weeks later during a Spiritual Counselling session the therapist said to me that the session was difficult and the process was blocked with my over eating and she suggested Overeaters Anonymous. I thought no way as I felt it would totally restrict my spontaneous fun life whereas in truth I was in a lot of pain with compulsive overeating. So I picked up the phone a few days later and I just knew this was where I was to go as I felt a release as I spoke to the person.

I attended my first meeting over 3 years ago. I felt I just needed to be there. I got such a warm and friendly welcome. It was so supportive.  I started doing the 12 steps and working the programme. I attended the OA meetings and by a miracle the cravings left, I got so much clarity in my life, issues at work I could see my part in and I became less involved in drama, the stiffness and pain in my body resolved. Life isn’t totally perfect but I now have a programme that I work on each day. This keeps me abstinent from compulsive eating because I cannot do this on my own. It also helps me with my fears and resentments, my relationships and my work. It is when I forget that I have this condition of compulsive eating that my life gets difficult. I now have a connection with my Higher Power. The last 18 months of the pandemic gave me a chance to work the programme as best I could, it has helped me through it and to post pandemic growth. Before I joined OA I did not have a sense of purpose or value. Now I wake up most days with a vision and a mission and I bounce out of bed. I have increasing tolerance and patience with others and this helps everything to run more smoothly in my life and generally The support of Overeaters Anonymous is something I could not do without.